I have been struggling to write this past week as my emotions have swirled around and inside of me.
I feel full and overflowing with some unnameable emotion. The closest I can come to describing it is gratitude, mixed with contentment, but gratitude overall. So much of my life hasn’t been spent being grateful that this is kind of a rare occurrence for me. And I want to savor it and maybe share a little with you.
While life is fast-paced and sometimes overwhelming, I am feeling so at peace with myself and the world right now. It is a different emotion for me. I’ve shared how for most of my life I’ve wanted to speed things up and get to goals faster, and now I’m content to sit and idle a while.
I normally start my mornings with Bible reading and prayer. If I can be as disciplined as I need to be. To be quite honest with you, sometimes I get distracted and don’t get my quiet time with God until later in the day and sometimes I’ve missed it altogether. I don’t like doing that because it really does help me feel more centered and helps keep the chaos at bay.
So this morning during my quiet time, I tried to let a little of that gratitude out. A prayer of thanks for everything He is, has ever been and will be. Thankful for people he’s put in my life and opportunities to interact with them. It’s just a start but I feel it’s helping as I start to express some of what I’m feeling. I have so very much to be thankful for and an eternity to tell Him. I must not rush this but try to cover all I can think of. So much of my life I’ve wasted wanting more, I no longer want to do that. I want to be fully present in what I’ve been given and let the richness rush over me. Part of that I think is going to be spending less time on social media. There has always been the danger of comparison that I think is the biggest breeder of discontent for me. Hearing other people talk about purchases, housing renovations, trips, activities, etc…, and I used to quickly wonder why they could all do the things they did, travel and experience these wonderful trips, and buy the latest gadgets without missing a beat. We had a very small budget. But in the end, it’s not who dies with the most toys that wins. It’s who is right with God and what we’ve accomplished here on earth to bring him glory. Did I spend my life entertaining myself, or did I seek to further Him in my world? Just yesterday I saw the pictures on Facebook of an acquaintance who is traveling abroad with their family. My first thought was one of wondering how they can afford all they do. But my second thought, the one I was prouder of, was, “I’m so totally content without that, that it’s okay.” I can be happy they are getting the opportunity to travel. I can also realize that the trip isn’t going to make them any more happy than I am. Than I choose to be. Even if I never leave the midwest. I’m not judging them. Everyone must live their own life and make their own decisions and learn to be happy with what they’ve been given.
As for me, I’m going to continue enjoying this feeling of contentment and gratitude as long as I can. It is a wonderfully warm, beautiful, light-filled feeling. I feel like I’m resting in the softest pile of fluffy white down comforters that I can find while at the same time, feel light as air and able to soar.
Join me in listing 10 things you can think of that you’re grateful for. It doesn’t matter how deep, profound or silly. Just start listing.
It’s the act of realizing we do have a lot to be thankful for and life isn’t so bad after all. 10 things everyday is a good start.
May it be contagious.
Today I am thankful for:
The Triune God. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit that each minister to me in only ways that entity can.
1. My husband.
2. My children.
3. My house that shelters me from the heat and cold, rain and snow.
4. Always having enough. I have never gone hungry in all of my life because there wasn’t enough to eat.
5. Reliable transportation.
6. Beauty in the world around me. Especially colors.
7. Relatively good health.
10. Modern laundry facilities in my home.