Today I’m tired. Not physically tired so much as mentally and emotionally. I’ve spent way too much time in the company of people I don’t like. People that try my patience. People that seem to think they need to poke fun at me for sport. And I’ve run out of patience, my fuse is short and I’m not feeling good about myself. So I’m taking today off.
What that means to me is I’m not giving a hoot today. I’m not going to worry about the world, the people around me, or anything else. You’re on your own people. I’m not going to worry about the effect I’m having on you. I’m not going to try to be a good person. I’m not going to worry that I need to be more positive, more energetic, more giving and sharing, more “nice,” more Christian.
I’m just going to be. Just be me. I’m going to relax and refrain from interaction with anyone. I need to veg a while. I need to entertain myself and enjoy today. I need to stop being so hard on myself and striving to be better. I always have this mental list of things I need to do. This can be exhausting to carry around.
The sad thing is it is the people closest to me that cause me so much angst. Family. Can’t live with them and you can’t live without them.