I Quit – but just for today.

Today I’m tired.  Not physically tired so much as mentally and emotionally.  I’ve spent way too much time in the company of people I don’t like.  People that try my patience. People that seem to think they need to poke fun at me for sport.  And I’ve run out of patience, my fuse is short and I’m not feeling good about myself.  So I’m taking today off.

What that means to me is I’m not giving a hoot today.  I’m not going to worry about the world, the people around me, or anything else.  You’re on your own people.  I’m not going to worry about the effect I’m having on you.  I’m not going to try to be a good person.  I’m not going to worry that I need to be more positive, more energetic, more giving and sharing, more “nice,” more Christian.

I’m just going to be.  Just be me.  I’m going to relax and refrain from interaction with anyone.  I need to veg a while.  I need to entertain myself and enjoy today.  I need to stop being so hard on myself and striving to be better.  I always have this mental list of things I need to do. This can be exhausting to carry around.

relaxing-bubble-bath-clipart-1

The sad thing is it is the people closest to me that cause me so much angst.  Family.  Can’t live with them and you can’t live without them.

 

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13 thoughts on “I Quit – but just for today.

  1. Have you ever read the book “Captivating” by John and Stasi Eldredege? It is one of the most wonderful books I have ever read and your post has made me turn to it again because I have to CONSTANTLY remind myself about the wonder and fantastickness (that’s not a word) of how God views us women: He is captivated by us right where we are, AS IS. Zero striving needed. Zero lipstick, zero hair styling, zero changing our size, shape, mood, views. He’s pretty much the only One. The rest we need to take a break from sometimes. Especially the ones we feel we need to be different than ‘AS IS’ for. Love that you wrote so honestly here. And no swear words, like I would have used when feeling like you do:)

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    1. No, I haven’t but I’m going to look for it. Sounds like a book I need to read. Why is self acceptance so hard for women. I’m making a little progress though. Baby steps. I saw a woman at the Memorial Day service that was willowy and started my usual, “I would love to look like her…” And then I stopped myself. Told myself there wasn’t anything wrong with the way I look and I’m working on loving my body.
      Thank you for reading and commenting.

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      1. Judy, that sounds so very much like myself! I am always looking at what other gals are wearing, their hairstyle, makeup, type of clothing, what shoes, jewelry~basically accessories the have on!
        I talk & think very negatively about myself! I have a hard time accepting compliments~I always add a negative response instead of just saying thank you. I went to chiropractor today, he told me I look nice, that I’ve lost so much weight I don’t have a butt anymore. My response was, Oh God I have gained so much weight~I’ve been eating non stop since I quit drinking alcohol & cutting my smoking In half. I did catch myself and told him thank you, that is all I needed to say! I’m a work in progress!!😀

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        1. Way to go on your self improvement efforts!!! Those can both be extremely difficult things to quit. So pat yourself on the back! And if the chiropractor noticed and commented, you must be looking good!! Accepting the compliment graciously was a great step forward too. You’re doing good!!!

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  2. I don’t give a damn what others think of or say about me~This is something I’ve been working on for awhile now!! I have many of my own issues to work on~I do not need to care & worry about other people’s opinions/thoughts. When I do it only hurts/damages me! I get depressed, my self confidence, self esteem gets shattered!! I do not have much of it to begin with! I also am MY worst enemy!! I always question myself! Never thought honk I am good enough or do things the right way!! My talk is negative about me & life in general most dangerous s….I’ve been working hard to change that! Focusing more on positive talk & positive self talk! Trying to be grateful on a daily basis!
    I also don’t need to give others free rent in my head!
    Judy, I always enjoy your writings! Hope you enjoyed your day off!

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    1. Thank you! I am doing much better today. I’m back to caring about others. There are just some people that are difficult for me to be around and I don’t like the way I react to them. 3 days out of 6 including an entire day outing left me drained.

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  3. aaah the bliss of not giving a damn! I am just gonna take a bath, lie around, read the book I have been putting off and eat like a monster is going to eat me! ❤ love the idea, now just have to find one such blissful day.. Hope you found yours dear.

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