He Lies

Do you ever have one of those days where you’re barely hanging on?  By a thread.  To your sanity.
I am having one of those days.
It started out well enough, I woke up had my favorite coffee, did my Bible study and devotions which were especially good this morning and new truths were revealed to me.  Something I had struggled with for a long time was finally made clear to me and it made some sense to an issue that is very troubling.  After that I texted with a friend and my sister, and then suddenly out of nowhere my good mood was gone and this darkness settled over me.
sad-woman
This horrible darkness that told me my whole life had been a waste.  That whispered it would be so much easier to just end things and then my struggle would be gone.  I know we’re not supposed to talk about those things, it makes people uncomfortable, but I don’t think I’m the only one who has ever had those thoughts either.  So maybe we should talk about them.  Then when Satan is whispering that in our ear and the tears are pouring down our face, we can tell him to get away and leave us alone.  That we are NOT alone in our struggles.  That everyone has days like these and it will pass. That we don’t want to be gone from this world.  That better days are coming and we would miss them.

Sometime later, I was feeling a little better.  I could see things clearer and realize everything that was overwhelming me before wasn’t as bad as it seemed.  The problem is that in the moment, it’s hard to remember that.  So keep some good friends ready to help you when that happens.  Don’t be too ashamed to speak out.  That is how you will feel better. By interacting with someone else who can point out to you that it is not as bad as it seems.  This is what I did.  I texted a friend and told her exactly how I was feeling.  The ugly truth of it.  She didn’t tell me not to feel that way, she did point out that Satan is a liar.  She also pointed out that Heaven is coming to those who struggle and that in the end it will be so worth the struggle.  That the things and values of this world will no longer be what we are measured by.  That we will find out that the people who seemed the most successful and the happiest were really not.
Life is good and my focus has once again been changed.  Take hope dear readers! You don’t have to stay stuck in that awful moment.

*If you are suffering from depression, I encourage you to get professional help if it lasts longer than a few days and you have are having thoughts of suicide.
The Suicide Prevention Hotline phone number is:  1-800-273-8255
There is also a suicide prevention website: suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
And a number to text:  Text “TalkWithUs” to 66746

You matter, people do care about you, please get help.

 

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9 thoughts on “He Lies

  1. John Bunyan mentioned this sort of thing in “The Pilgrim’s Progress”. It is allegory of course and is pictured by the “Castle of Doubt”, operated by the “Giant of Despair”.

    Bunyan’s remedy is remember and rehearsing God’s promises to us, as the “key” to escape.

    (Just went through the book in Sunday School lately; I’m not really that smart.)

    You are right, of course. When Satan cannot distract us by tempting us with something, he reminds us of our fallen nature and how little we have achieved against how much to which we aspired.

    God loves us. More than that, God even likes us, even when we’re not brilliant and dominant.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks OMM, for reading and commenting. I don’t know that I’ve ever read Pilgrim’s Progress all the way through. Maybe I’ll put that on my list to read for 2018. The remedy he recommends is exactly what we need. I agree with him. Thanks for the thoughts and comments. It is so refreshing to find another believer! I just read in Isaiah this morning that he has written our names on the backs of His hands. And thank you for the reminder of His love in all phases of our lives. 🙂

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  2. I have been to this place and listened to the ugly voice that whispers that nothing I do matters.It’s so easy to collapse into this despair, to give in to it and think “why bother?” I think all people are creators who, when not creating, when not using their God given gifts to shine their light on the world in whatever way makes THEM unique, then this “lacking” feeling grows even deeper. This post was lovely and truthful. Keep writing. Keep connecting. It matters! Love to you!!!!

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  3. Until my thyroid acted up, I had not experienced depression. Oddly enough, it’s one of the first signs of thyroid issues. But when it happened, I got a glimpse into the chemical nature of depression–coming out of nowhere. I have a new empathy for people who struggle with it regularly. Thankfully, mine was a symptom that went away after treating the thyroid.

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  4. Thank you for sharing this, Judy! Yes this is so much more common than people let on. I’ve been there myself, for sure. Thank you for courageously sharing your journey!

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    1. Thanks Kristi!
      Usually we sugarcoat how we’re feeling, but when we do that we perpetuate the lie that no one else feels like this, and we don’t get the help we so desperately need in that moment. Hopefully this will resonate with people that need to hear this.

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